I started drawing at very early age. I might have been 1,5 or 2, I don't recall exactly.
Like so many other children I drew what I saw, what I wanted to see or, on a rare occasion, what I was afraid of.
I submerged in the ocean of my imagination and it almost felt as if the world beyond the surface of a drawing was real.
The older I was getting the more complicated and confusing life appeared to be. By the age of 15 I could see a clear line between imagination and reality and being trapped in the former was not satisfying anymore.
I could continue drawing something nonexistent as if it was real but my desperate desire to merge with the outside world made me seek for another way to express myself.
Very soon I had to accept that I might never be able to perceive life like others. I understood that everybody looked at the world through prism of their perception. It's just that my prism seemed to be slightly dimmer, infused with confusing multitones, which made the outside world look scattered and incomplete. I could have looked at it as at an obstacle, that couldn't be overcome, but instead I saw an opportunity.
The fusion of reality, imagination and uniqueness of my perception formed a new reality, the only reality that was true to me.
I wished to express that new found world in my art but for some time I couldn't figure out how.
One day I took a piece of paper, clueless about what I was going to do. I gazed intently at its blank surface as if expecting it to tell me something important, to give me answers. Suddenly I noticed thin grey lines emerging. I thought to myself, "why don't I follow them?". And at that moment the true creativity was born.
I felt ecstatic I finally found an ultimate way to express something that seemed inexpressible.
At 1st my works were quite simple. Later they became more elaborate and complex.
As the time went by I decided to gain a little more control over the creative process. Every time I drew, I thought of a subject to concentrate on. And later, when answers were needed to life questions, I asked a question and then drew the answer.
A few years ago I started feeling limited by the direction I chose. In addition to that, or maybe even for that reason the process of following the lines on paper became more overwhelming than satisfying.
I turned to digital art. Experimenting in that field lead to discovery of 4 major styles:
The process of creating that kind of art works was a little different. I couldn't see an actual image emerging on a digital screen like I did on paper but I could see, or should I say, sense it on my mental screen.
Sometimes it felt like an image was bursting out of me and my hand couldn't help but drew it.
And now to the "Soul Drawing". I came up with that name because I thought it matched the process pretty well. Whether it was a fantasy or carried some truth within, "Soul Drawing" was incredibly fascinating.
One day I noticed that I could see and sense different people in front of me (on my mental screen). They didn't always look like actual people but more like formations of energy. Each part of a formation could differ in density, intensity of emanation and color. Sometimes I saw a person or a formation surrounded by other people, objects or formations. After seeing that I tried to recreate the image on the digital screen. Sometimes I sort of sensed what I needed to draw even without "looking" at the image.
After exploring all those techniques I started wondering if I should choose one in order to maintain my identity. But I came to a conclusion that no matter what path spoke to me at any given moment I would follow its lead and make it mine.
© Liudmila Maksimovskaya "NIKOXXII" 2012. All rights reserved